Getting Well
February 7, 2023My Depression and Hospitalization
June 13, 2023
After Jamaal passed away, I began reading the Bible more, and one verse really stood out to me as I was reading. Philippians 4:4 tells Christians to "Rejoice in the Lord always." My initial reaction after reading that was that I didn't have much to rejoice about, but I also felt it was a reminder regarding my behavior. I can grieve but also need to make time to rejoice and rejoice in the Lord specifically. At first, I used this verse as a reminder to avoid complaining about my situation. Eventually, I decided to look up the word rejoice, and according to the dictionary, it means to feel joyful or delighted. I began to think about this Scripture and what it meant for me - the command to rejoice despite my circumstances seemed like a tall order at the time. I remember wondering what, exactly, I had to feel joyful about. I remembered that it says to rejoice in the Lord, and I decided that for me to rejoice in the Lord, I had to get to know Him better, so I began reading the Bible to learn about God's character. I learned that God is righteous, faithful, patient, kind, forgiving, loving, mighty, holy, sovereign, all-knowing, awe-inspiring, generous, and compassionate, to name a few. Finding this out about God was so much easier to rejoice in Him, and I was reminded that God loves me and is always with me. My search for the nature of God refocused me on His goodness which led to rejoicing in Him and praising Him, and these activities led to my focus being God alone. Once I was more focused on God and less on my grief, I felt joyful. I began to feel joy knowing that my Savior 100% loves me unconditionally and understands my feelings. It made it easier for me to pour my heart out to God in prayer - telling Him my fears, worries, hopes, and plans. I began relying on Him for more and more things. He is the Person I tell everything to, and I have grown to enjoy spending time in prayer.
I really needed to talk to someone and just wanted someone to listen to me without any input or advice until I asked for it. God is the Person Who listens well and is patient with me so I can ramble from one thought to the next. I told Him things I was not comfortable sharing with others. I was able to get so much emotion on paper in my prayer journal, and I was able to share my feelings about missing my husband with God. This is something I still do from time to time whenever I have feelings that I can't shake. I love sharing memories of my husband and the type of person he is with others - I shared many of our memories with Jesus in prayer. Prayer is a way for me to release and surrender feelings, thoughts, plans, and goals to God. I can't think of a better Friend or Father to share these things with. I also realized my Heavenly Father wants me (and His other children, too) to experience His joy despite what's going on in my life at the time. This realization comforted me and made me want to continue rejoicing in the Lord and praising Him.
Many Scriptures mention rejoicing and joy, so I listed some of my favorites below:
- "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" - Philippians 4:4 HCSB
- "Rejoice always!" - 1 Thessalonians 5:16 HCSB
- "Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; let those who love Your salvation continually say, The LORD is great!" - Psalms 40:16 HCSB
- "But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them shout for joy forever. May You shelter them, and may those who love Your name boast about You." - Psalms 5:11 HCSB
- "Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer." - Romans 12:12 HCSB
- "But I have trusted in Your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in Your deliverance." - Psalms 13:5 HCSB
- "You reveal the path of life to me; in Your presence is abundant joy; in Your right hand are eternal pleasures." - Psalms 16:11 HCSB
- "Be glad and rejoice, because your reward is great in heaven. For that is how they persecuted the prophets who were before you." - Matthew 5:12 HCSB
- "Rejoice in that day and leap for joy! Take note - your reward is great in heaven, because this is the way their ancestors used to treat the prophets." - Luke 6:23 HCSB
- "You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and new wine abound." - Psalms 4:7 HCSB
God wants His children to rejoice because He knows its positive effects on our hearts and minds. Rejoicing in the Lord brings us closer to Him and takes our minds off of our worries, fears, and problems. It takes our minds off our negative thoughts and emotions and can change our perspective about our trials. This helps me when I don't want to get out of bed, feel like crying, miss my husband, or have a difficult day. I continue to do it because it helps me see beyond my grief and pain - it allows me to move closer to hope and joy. And who couldn't use a bit more of that, right?